One Thing I’m Happy Someone Told Me: Letting Dads Learn

When you’re pregnant or a new mom it feels like you have a sign on your forehead that says, “Give me unwarranted advice, please.” While some of it you quickly discard, there are several things people told me that I appreciated when I was going through new experiences as a mom. I really liked hearing this bit about letting dads do their own thing.


Before we had Beck we took a birth prep class at the hospital and at one point the men and women separated to discuss their fears associated with having a baby. The women were discussing their husbands and their soon-to-be roles as fathers and the instructor said this, “Sometimes your husband will be doing his duties as a dad and you’ll want to step in and correct him if he’s not doing it exactly how you would. Try and stop yourself from doing that and just let him learn for himself. Let the dad be a dad. He’ll not want to help out if you’re constantly taking over.”

I keep this in mind when my husband is trying to console our crying baby. I usually just ask him, “Would you like me to take him or are you okay?” and usually he just wants to do it himself. He wants to be the dad and I couldn’t appreciate it more. We’re both learning and I can’t assume that how I do it is better.

Tagged as:
Add to the conversation