On Baby Toys

I am going to tell you this straight up: babies don’t need no dang toys.


Pictured above is our hero, the Huckmonster, with his pile of toys that he never cared a stitch for. Sophie the giraffe? Hardly. That cute alligator on a ring? Nope. How about the weird ninja thing with the eye patch? Nope. It even rattled. Did he care?

Here is what Huck wanted to play with as a baby: My hair. The stash of tampons in the bathroom. His feet. My shirt. The remote control. Bottle caps.

And then one day, when Huck was around 18-months-old, he got it. He looked at his toys and it was like the wheels started turning. Message understood. TOYS! Oh, toys!

These days Huck has a different favorite toy for every day of the week. When it’s time to run the errands, he’ll run over to his toy box, carefully select a toy, then sit in the stroller patiently while I buckle them in. Huck and his partners in crime. Throughout the day he’ll assign his toy a name, before carelessly chucking it out of the stroller and onto the street when he’s bored of it. Oh well.

Surprisingly, it doesn’t matter whether a toy is meant for a 5-year-old, an infant, or a kid his own age. He’ll find a way to play with it and feel just fine about it all. Luckily, this means all those toys we bought for him as a baby were actually worthwhile purchases, in the end. That bee with the black and white spots and the one wing meant to be a teether? He likes it just as well as he likes his sorting toys and his stacking toys and his blue car named “KAH!”

So keep buying your babies toys. They’ll ignore them ruthlessly. But one day, they’ll become the best of friends.

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