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The Funniest Things I’ve Heard Little Ones Say

Have you ever seen that show, Kids Say The Darndest Things? I remember watching it as a teenager and buckling over in laughter at some of the things these little kids came up with. Now that I’m a mom, I’m not as surprised by kids saying odd or funny things anymore, but it is still adorable when it’s your own child. So, I asked my Facebook friends for their favorite kid quotes, and the responses were AWESOME. Here they are — with some of my own, too!

1. My best friend’s 3-year-old sister was out at the mall with her mom. A passerby sweetly asked little Kelsey, “Where did you get those dimples?”and Kelsey replied, “I got them from my mom! Her have them all over her bottom!”

2. My friend Ashley’s son Braxton is 3 and she heard him say a bad word the other day. So she asked him to repeat himself and he started singing “Jesuuuusssss, Jeeeeesusss!” to which Ashley said, “You’re gonna need Jesus if you ever say that again.”

3. My friend Jacob drives down the same road every day with his kids and they recently started doing construction to widen the road. The temporary side road is very bumpy and his daughter asked him the other day, “Who made this road? Lightning McQueen?” Hahaha. Perfectly accurate.

4. My 3-year-old Bentley was trying to get my attention the other day while I was blogging, and I didn’t respond right away because I was right in the middle of a thought. Here is what I heard. “Mommy….Mommy!…Mom!!!…..Tiffany Carney! I’m talking to you!”

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5. This one is more of an action than something that was said, but it’s too funny not to include: When my fiancé picked up KJ from pre-K a few weeks ago, he told KJ to say goodbye to his friends. So KJ walked up to his little friend Maddie, who he is very fond of (and she is fond of him) and said “Goodbye Maddie.” Then Maddie hugged him and KJ proceeded to KISS HER ON THE FOREHEAD. What. In. The. World?! A kiss on the forehead?!?! Lord help me when that boy is a teenager.

6. My 3-year-old niece Phoenix had a dance recital the other day, and as soon as she was done, she went up to KJ and Bentley and asked them, “Did you see me up there? What did I look like? Did I look beeeaaauuuuutiful??”

7. My friend Katie’s 6-year-old nephew was singing the Happy Birthday song to his 3-year-old brother the other day when his grandma chimed in and said, “It’s not his birthday for a few more months.” He replied, “Yeah! I was born yesterday!” I’m sure the kid didn’t realize he was saying the opposite of “I wasn’t born yesterday,” but it still made me laugh so hard.

8. When KJ was potty training, he was using his Disney potty and came running in my bedroom after he finished, yelling, “Mommy! I did it! And it is so big! Like the letter J! Yay! Come see it!” SO gross. And so funny. And so typical of a little boy.

9. When my nephew was two and a half, his parents bought him a Bug Motel. It’s a cylindrical plastic thing with a bunch of drawers where you can store anything from jewelry to bugs. He brought it over to show it to me and it had about 10 bugs in different compartments. I asked him where he found so many dead bugs, and he looked at me and said, “These not dead! They sleeping! Shhh, we need be quiet.” They definitely died in the bug motel.

What are some of the funniest things your little ones have said? 

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