A 10-Month-Old’s Guide To Cutting Teeth

My daughter was a late teether and somehow managed to get 4 teeth in a matter of 10 days this month after having ZERO last month! Below are her tips on cutting teeth from one baby to another.


1. Don’t ever nap again.
The key to getting your teeth in is to make sure your parents know at all times, at all hours of the day, that you are in fact getting teeth. The best way to do this is to make sure you skip those pesky naps each day. This is a tried and true practice of mine, by the way.

2. Scream and throw things if you get cranky.
You know how you’ve led your parents to believe you are a sweet little angel? Yeah, that ends now. Your gums hurt like crazy and you are super cranky so why not make sure everyone else is too? Scream when no one is expecting it, because it’s really funny watching your mom jump. Throw things, too, especially at your brothers, because no one expects a baby to have good aim.

3. Chew on everything in sight.
You have to help those gums along, and the best way to do this is to put everything in your mouth and bite and chew nonstop. This is especially true for that dog food in the bowl on the floor. Special tip: chew on dog food when mom isn’t looking.

4. Bite your mom when you’re nursing.
It’s a fact that biting makes your gums feel better, and even more so when you’re nursing! Make sure to do it when your mom least expects it because for some reason it makes her act really funny and you’ll giggle a lot. Warning: she may make you stop nursing! Proceed with caution.

5. Drool on everything. All the time. Everywhere.
For some reason your teeth will come faster when you drool a lot. I don’t know this for sure, but if the amount of my drool is any indication, you’ll definitely want to turn on the water works to make those toofers come even faster. Special tip: do this when anything electronic is in your mouth, like the iPhone or the remote control for the TV. It makes your parents super happy.

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