As a mom of two, I find myself in this weird space lately—constantly wondering if we should have a third child. I wish it were any easy decision for me, but it’s not. I’m just not built that way. I find myself thinking about the financial obligations, the time commitment, being able to give each child what they need, and so much more.
As my youngest approaches her second birthday, the thought weighs heavy on my mind. I think my husband’s mind is made up. He wants another baby. I also think he has no intentions of pressuring me and has expressed that he will be perfectly happy if we are done. But are we?
In all my confusion, I have figured out one thing for sure—I have a few things I need to do before adding another child to the mix. Not only will these changes result in a much happier baby, but they will ultimately result in a much happier mom (and family), too.
Here are a few things I plan to do before having baby number three (yea, I think it’s going to happen).
- Make my health a priority. I could say lose 25 pounds, but I’ve realized that it’s not just about the weight. It’s also getting rest, eating well, managing stress, and making time for myself. I need to make all of these things a priority before we make our family bigger.
- Organize our home. Our home isn’t that messy, but my husband really gets much of the credit for that. I like to call myself a clean mess. I’m always doing laundry, things are sanitized, and the kids take a bath daily, but I tend to let things like mail (and other stuff) pile up. It would make life easier for all of us if I worked really hard on changing this habit before we add another person to contribute to the mess.
- Develop a post-baby plan. I have a few entrepreneurial pursuits in the pipeline, so I need a plan. Managing my personal dreams with my job (hopefully not for much longer), a husband, two kids, and a sick mom is already challenging. I need a plan to get some serious backup if there will be another child crawling around. A good nanny? An au pair? I’m not sure, but I need a plan.
- Take a beach vacation. Our entire family is way overdue for a fun trip to the beach. I don’t care if I am pregnant when we go, but I need some sunlight, a drink (virgin of course), and some warm sand between my toes. I think happy moms make happy babies.
- Begin meditating regularly. This was on my list of goals anyway, so having another baby just makes it even more important. I know that I am at my best as a mom when I am not stressed out and I am able to find peace. I’m sure my future baby will appreciate a peaceful stress-free mom, don’t you?
- Visit my doctor. I think I am relatively good health (even with the extra 25 pounds), but I also think it’s best to get a thorough workup from my primary care doctor and my obstetrician before I am certain my body is really ready to do this for a third time.
I’d love to hear what you did before you decided to add another child to your family.