Becoming a mom has been hands down the most amazing experience of my life. That said, it has also been one of the most challenging experiences of my life. Having a baby changes you in so many ways, and it happens so quickly that it can be easy to lose yourself a bit in the process. In those first six months postpartum I experienced a bit of an identity crisis because of this. I felt so firmly rooted in my new identity as a mother that I sort of neglected the other parts of myself that were also important, and I just didn’t feel like myself anymore. Over time I figured out how to reconnect again with those parts of myself that I had missed and finally got my groove back. I thought I’d share some of the things that helped me in the hopes that they will help you too. Let’s get that groove back, mamas!
10 Ways To Get Your Groove Back After Having a Baby
Having a baby is a huge adjustment and sometimes in the process we can tend to lose ourselves. Here are 10 things that helped me get my groove back and feel like “me” again after having a little one. Hopefully they can help you too!
1. Get back into a fitness routine
A big part of the reason I didn’t feel like myself for so long postpartum was because my body looked and felt completely different and I didn’t enjoy the same types of exercise that I did before having a child. I finally found a routine I love with a ballet barre/pilates/yoga style Barre3 class and it’s made a huge difference. I feel strong and comfortable in my own skin again. Find a fitness routine that will work for you and get to it!
2. Treat yourself to a fun new outfit
For a while after having a baby, I struggled to figure out how to dress myself again and be stylish with the new requirements surrounding my new lifestyle as a mama. A lot of my wardrobe changed to become more practical, but treating myself to a fun, non-mom-centric outfit every now and again has helped me to feel like “me.” I’ve always loved fashion and it feels good to have fun with it again.
3. Have a date night
As soon as you feel ready, get a sitter and head out on a date night with your partner. Babies can be all-consuming and it will feel good to reconnect with one another without distractions.
4. Change the subject
Talking about your child non-stop is an easy trap to fall into, and while I completely advocate surrounding yourself with friends and family that you can share with and get encouragement from, I would suggest making a conscious effort to change the subject every now and then. Not only will it be a nice change of pace for those around you, but it will force you to reconnect with other important things in your life.
5. Take some time to primp
When you’re a busy mom, most days “primping” means having enough time to put on real pants and throw your hair in a ponytail, but taking the time to actually spend time on your appearance will help you feel refreshed and more confident. It doesn’t have to be an everyday type of thing — for me, I often don’t get to do my hair or put on makeup until nap time, but no matter when it is, I always feel better after I spend a little time on myself.
6. Post a few non-kid photos on social media
It can be totally tempting to baby spam everyone on your social media platforms once you become a parent and I am just as guilty as the next mama — but consider changing it up every once in awhile with a pretty flower photo, snapshot of your lunch, or whatever else interests you. It will force you to get out of mom-mode for a moment and remember that while you like your baby most, you also like other things too.
7. Spend time on a hobby
Hobbies aren’t something that you typically have a ton of time for after becoming a parent, but every now and again try to squeeze in some time for the things you used to enjoy…even if it’s only a half hour during nap time. This could be cooking, crafting, reading… whatever it is that you love. Just make the time to reconnect with your passions!
8. Go out with a friend
Just as date nights with your partner are important, so is time spent with friends. Sure, I see my friends during play dates with our kids, but it’s not the same and the conversations are fragmented. A great time to head out can be right after you put your little one down for the night. Heading out for a late night happy hour or dessert can be a great way to sneak in time with friends and have some relaxing kid-free time.
9. Ask for help
I often found myself falling into the trap of thinking that I had to do everything for my baby by myself. It was like I felt I had something to prove…like I have to earn my mommy merit badge. But, once I asked for help and was able to breathe a little bit more, I started finding my groove again.
10. Write about it
I write all the time for my job, but it was journaling about the super private thoughts and feelings I was experiencing that really helped me to sort it all out. And gradually, over time, I started to feel like myself again. It wasn’t all at once, but I got there and it felt good — and you’ll get there too! I promise.