It’s very easy to get caught up in my daily mom duties that aren’t exactly exciting or glamorous. Endless laundry (didn’t I already wash this?!). Snack fulfillment (we just ate lunch!?). Diaper changing (what did you eat?!). Constant toy pick up (if I step on one more Lego…!!). Day after day it’s the same thing. And I do it. And that’s okay. It’s mostly a thankless job and it weighs down on me sometimes, but I know many years down the road, my little girls are going to appreciate everything I did for them and one day return the favor.
Right now they don’t see it that way. Right now they think mama is a big meany for always making them clean their room before bedtime stories. Or that I have horrible taste in clothing and they’d rather pick their own outfits. I was certain this attitude didn’t start until the teenage years, pre-teen at the earliest. Clearly my girls are advanced and have taken on these traits at 4 and 6. It’s hard not to take it personally, they are after all, my sweet little girls that I would do anything for. Their strong and independent personalities sometimes make me feel as if they can do just fine without their mama. And that hurts as a mother.
Then there’s Baby Z. From the day she was born, I felt as if there was a much stronger connection between her and I. My family jokes that it’s because she was my home birth baby. Since the beginning we’ve been together like peanut butter and jelly, rainbows and butterflies, a mama and her baby. She prefers me over her dad and loves to snuggle and cuddle with me, something the other two rarely did as babies.
Wherever I’m at, she’s there. If I’m sitting, she’s in my lap. If I’m working in the kitchen, she’s at my leg or being carried in my arms. In the car when she’s cranky, she wants to hold my hand. If we nap together, she refuses to sleep next to me, preferring to lay on my chest instead. And I love. every. minute. The girl simply adores me.
She makes me feel loved and wanted. Nothing in the world makes her happier than running into my arms. With every tiny footstep she takes to get to me, my heart bursts with the anticipation of making contact and squeezing her in my arms. Complete euphoria for both of us.
From the outside, Baby Z would look like a “clingy” baby. I see it as a baby girl that is happiest with her mama. One who is content and secure in the safety of her Mama’s arms. She doesn’t realize that her unconditional and undying love for me gets me through my days and makes me feel like a million bucks!
Who wants a snack? Let me just finish folding this load of laundry.