I watched you the other day, you were taking steps with that walker toy. You were so proud of yourself, and I felt a pang in my heart because walking with that walker toy is almost like walking and Mama isn’t ready for that yet, Baby.
Then I saw you playing with my sunglasses, and you held them to your face and then made it clear to me you wanted me to put them on your face. Then you said “cheeeeee” which you somehow learned without us even practicing it with you. Were you born wanting to be a ham? Clearly you were. A ham is someone who makes people smile, just fyi. By the way, I totally snapped a picture of you being a ham.
Then I was sitting on the floor with you today, Baby. And do you know what you did? I stood you up and let go without even realizing what I was doing and you STOOD THERE. All by yourself you stood there and in that moment I couldn’t tell if the pang this time was because of pride or fear that you’re growing up so fast. I still remember when you were just a few days old.
You see, Baby, you are my last baby. It’s you and then no more. You don’t see me trying to help you walk early or do other things that an almost-10-month-old should really not be doing already, and this is because Baby? I need you to slow down.
Your first birthday is in a scant two months and the emotions are coming like a flood and I want to stop them somehow. I don’t want you to not grow or be amazing at all your new skills, I just want you to linger at each milestone a bit longer.
Can you do that for me?
Slow down. And in return I’ll teach you the wonders of mani/pedis and show you the best poetry and make sure Daddy doesn’t know about all our shopping trips.
Do we have a deal?
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