In mosts cases, when you first find out that you’re pregnant you’re filled with an overwhelming excitement. It has been something you have been wishing, planning and hoping for. It’s funny though, after the initial excitement has settled you’re left with – what I think are – the toughest weeks of pregnancy. If I had to write a letter to those first 12 weeks, here is what I would say…
Dear 1st Trimester,
If ever there was a time of such contradicting feelings, you would be them! I never thought I would be able to go from pure joy, to tears of despair in such a short amount of time. Now that I have made it through two 1st trimesters, I can look back on our time with fonder memories but being in the midst of your 12 weeks is another story. Now that I’m 26 weeks pregnant with our second, I can focus more on the moment my husband Kev and I realized we were going to be parents for the second time. We were having friends over for dinner that night, but I could feel it in my heart (and my sick stomach) that I was pregnant. I didn’t tell Kev right away though. He took our daughter Rowan to the park so I could stay home to get dinner ready for our guest. Instead, I snuck out to the store and got a home pregnancy test. Of course, I had to take it immediately. Then, there in our bathroom 20 mins before our dinner guests arrived, I found out I was going to be a Mom again. There were many tears of joy. Looking at our 18-month-old daughter at that moment never seemed to mean so much. Being able to see how much she has grown from the moment we found out about her to where she is now made it so much easier to envision this new baby. I told Kev the news right before our guests arrived. We composed ourselves and kept our secret all through dinner up until 14 weeks later when we finally started spreading the good news.
The next morning I woke up covered in sweat from all the hormones and I thought, “here we go again”. You have a funny way of sneaking up on me. One day I feel fine and then, “BAM!” you hit me with your gale force winds. What a strange 12 weeks you are. For most of us, it is a silent struggle as we keep you a secret until that “safe point”. We aren’t showing, so there aren’t any nice compliments or doors being opened for us. We are more tired than ever and we wish everyone knew so they would just take care of us. We either can’t stuff enough food in our face to keep from feeling nauseous or even the slightest glimpse of food has us running to the bathroom. Why do you do this to us? You would think that right after finding out you were pregnant, you would let us be blissful for 12 weeks as we settled into this new role. I know I sure would appreciate that!
I’ve come to terms with you though. For as tough as you are, I know that I am growing a new little being inside. However terrible you are, I will grin and bear it for the sake of this little bundle of joy. You can’t take away the joy I will feel when I hold her in my arms and you can’t take from me the first time I feel her kick, or see her wiggle on a sonogram. I will try my best to embrace all the hardships you throw my way with a smile and when I can’t, I will lay on the couch and let my husband take care of me. You are a fickle beast of mixed emotions that swirl around inside for 12 weeks, but for the job you are doing and for the person you are creating I will salute you as best I can.
Making it through,
How about you ladies? Did you have an easy or hard 1st trimester? Share your stories below!