Conversations with Little People
Following months of non-stop gibberish, your tot’s first words mark a major milestone on her journey to Chatterbox Junction. These useful expert tips will get your conversations started, and keep them going strong, as you encourage your new talker’s developing language skills.
Keep It On The Down-Low
“Always try to be on kids’ level when you talk with them,” says Sheri Cheung, a family doctor in Northampton, Massachusetts, and a mom of two. “Kneeling down so that you can speak with, and listen to, your child face-to-face will show her that you’re focused on what she’s saying. It’ll also actually minimize distractions for you both.”
Restrain Yourself
“Most toddlers stutter a bit, and it’s very tempting to ‘help’ them by finishing their sentences,” says Dr. Cheung. “Practice patience and allow silence; just looking them in the eye and showing that you are still engaged in talking with them, even if it takes awhile, will boost your kids’ confidence and encourage them to speak for themselves.”
Find the Right Ice-Breakers
Asking questions with only ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers, or asking questions that are too broad, can leave a toddler lost in conversation. “Asking specific questions, such as ‘Who did you play with today?’ will be more manageable for your child,” Dr. Cheung says. “Know your child’s daily routine, and ask questions based upon that: ‘What did you eat for snack today? Who did you sit with? What did you talk about?’… Kids love routine, so this is a great starting point to get them talking.”
Offer Optional Help
“If your child seems confused about something, or seems to have forgotten something, ask him questions,” suggests Dr. Cheung. “Give him the choice to learn more from you, or not. For example, you might ask ‘Would you like me to remind you?’ or ‘Would you like to know more about that?’”
Take Your Turn
“Tell your child about things you’ve done during the day,” says Dr. Cheung. “You could ask, ‘Would you like to know what I ate for lunch today?’ My kids always love knowing the names of all the babies I saw, how old they were, and so on.” She continues, “This approach can help to lead into conversations about children’s days, and also helps the extremely self-centered 2-year-old (totally developmentally normal) to gain a bit of perspective.”
Reflect Back to Them
Chris Berger, a counselor in Fort Collins, Colorado who frequently works with children, suggests using a classic talk-therapy technique known as ‘reflection’. “First, repeat the content of what your child has said, in your own words. Then express the emotion you believe is behind it. Finally, communicate both elements together,” he says. “Bringing in new words, and different ways of expressing the same content, does more than just parrot back to the child what he or she has said. It builds more connections and neural pathways in the brain.”
Expand the Comfort Zone
“Even if a child can only say one word, like ‘bus’, parents can give that word context, and build upon the child’s zone of knowledge by introducing a little bit of new information each time,” Berger says. “You could say, ‘Yes, I see the yellow bus. The yellow bus is going by. I bet it’s taking kids to school.’”
Know Their Style
“To encourage language in toddlers, first make yourself aware of your child’s communication style,” says Nichole Gant, a certified Montessori teacher, parenting coach and mom to three in Austin, Texas. “Is your child a verbal communicator? A non-verbal communicator who makes a lot of eye contact, or gestures to communicate her needs? These are all valid and important forms of communication which should be respected and responded to.”
Speak Slowly
“Give young children time to process the first message before repeating or adding more information to it,” Gant says. “It takes 10 seconds for children between 0 to 6 years of age to process what their caregivers are saying. Some children lack the ability to keep up in conversations because they are simply being spoken to too quickly, and they become confused.”
You might also like...
Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook’s Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Learn More.
