What Elvie Really Wants for Christmas

With just two days to go until Christmas, all our shopping is done, and I have plans to wrap gifts tonight. Our tradition is that Santa brings one gift and fills stockings, Jarod and I give one gift, and the girls give each other one gift each. This year we are deviating slightly from this plan since I picked up something special for each girl in Ethiopia, but we still emphasize quality over quantity. For Elvie’s first Christmas, we chose things that she would like to play with, and I think she will be happy with her gifts. However, if she could talk, I also know that she would ask for completely different items. Without further ado, here is Elvie’s real Christmas wish list.

1. An iPhone, preferably one that belongs to someone else. Maybe I should have put “every iPhone she sees anywhere, ever.” She does not understand why we won’t just hand them over. She wants it! Give it!

2. Tissue paper and/or tissues. If she can shred it into tiny bits and then try to eat it, that will be perfect. She’s not particular; she just wants to destroy it and use it to see if her gag reflex is still working. It’s also pretty funny to her when she fake gags and everyone comes running.

3. Toys with parts she can choke on. LIttle vehicles will work fine; those wheels just feel so good in a baby’s mouth!

4. To be allowed to disassemble all the cloth diapers on the changing table, while lying there with no diaper on. She’s heard parents go on and on about giving their children an experience as opposed to another toy that will break. This would be perfect!

5. Granola bar wrappers. She doesn’t even need the bar to be inside! That satisfying crinkle is all she wants.

6. Deflated balloons. If it’s not dangerous, it’s just not that fun. Elvie is going to be disappointed that the gift we give ourselves in the New Year is a set of baby gates and outlet covers.

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