Motherhood: The Hard Part

It’s taken me weeks to be able to sit down and put these words to the keys. Motherhood is hard. Really hard. While I love sharing with you all the magical moments, sharing the tough stuff is what makes all of this real. Being a parent isn’t a walk in the park. It gets tough.

Two weeks ago, Baylor had an accident that resulted in 2nd degree burns down the side of his arm. Even now, I still feel a huge amount of guilt every time someone checks up on Baylor to see how he is healing. The day of the accident, while I was driving Baylor to the ER, I kept thinking to myself how hard this was. How hard being a parent was. How could this have happened? I wished I could take away his pain! Why hadn’t I thought of that as a possible accident. Needless to say, I was being really hard on myself.

With lots of reassurance and analysis of what happened, I am finally coming to terms with the fact that there was nothing that I could have done to prevent it. It was a one of those slow motion freak accident things that couldn’t have been prevented.

As a mom, I am always running worst case scenarios through my head. I’m not sure if all moms do that, but I know I do. After that day, I learned that no matter how many worst case scenarios you can make up in your mind, accidents happen. Some things are just out of our control. I am so thankful that we were as blessed as we were to walk away the way we did. Baylor is almost completely healed and has never stopped being the rambunctious toddler that I so much love. He amazed me at how strong he is and also how resilient his tiny little body is.

Two weeks later, I still feel guilty. I still feel like I could have done more, but I am also learning that this is just a reality of being a mom. These types of things will happen. I am learning to have thicker skin, to be strong, and to do what I am wired to do. And that is to love my child with my whole entire being.

Bad days will come, but the good ones far outweigh the bad.

Read more from Jerika on her blog, Everyday Bay. Connect on Instagram @everydaybay, Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest.

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