The Great Sibling Debate
I need your help. Or, rather, I need your stories. I need stories from those of you who were only children and from those of you who have lots of siblings. And I need stories from those of you who made the decision to only have one child and from those who have had lots of babies. Why do I need your stories? Because since having our beloved firstborn Bubs (that’s his nickname, by the way) we have been wrestling back and forth about how big (or small) we want our family to be. It’s a tough decision! Help me!
Before we got pregnant, we had a plan. Two babies. Make one. Buy one. We wanted to have a biological baby and then we wanted to adopt. My husband is adopted so we had always just assumed that adoption would be part of our plan. After having our son, our life was so overwhelmed that the thought of having twice as much baby freaked us out.
No one tells you that you’re going to have to have these conversations and decisions on your plate so soon after having your first baby but you do. Especially if you want your children’s ages to be close together. Do we want to start the process of baby #2 now so that they are a year or two apart? Or do we wait? Do we have babies close together so that we get past the brand-new-baby-no-sleep-ever phase and then get to be done with that? Or do we take some time now to enjoy more sleep and then start the whole thing over again in a few years? Decisions decisions.
There’s also the questions of what our son might want and what is best for him. Siblings mean natural playmates and friends for life. It means someone close to their age that they can confide in. It means an adventure buddy. It means someone to play license plate bingo and I-spy with on road trips. Siblings also means twice the sleeplessness. Twice the diapers. Twice the attention needed. Twice the college funds. Twice the cell phone texting bills. An only child means a bit of loneliness, and probably some aspects of spoiling. It also means independence, earlier maturity and being the recipient of all of our attention and resources. What to do, what to do?
So tell me… how did you grow up and did you like it or wish it was different? Did you love your siblings or did you wish you were the one and only? Did your family struggle because you had a lot of siblings? Did you feel like you had an advantage or a disadvantage because of how many or how few siblings you had? If you’re a mom, how did you make the decision yourself? Or am I just crazy? Tell me your stories in the comments below.
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