The end of pregnancy is one of the strangest times for any expectant mother. You are anxious and excited, yet exhausted and ready to be “done.” You are all at once convinced that your baby is never going to come, yet you could go into labor at any minute. So much is out of your control, that it can sometimes leave you feeling a little depleted. As I count down the days until I meet my little one (which could be any day now!) I find myself in the middle of so many feelings and emotions. Perhaps you can relate??
Some days, I am totally calm and prepared and ready to give birth again. I cannot wait to meet my baby girl and for her to become a part of our family. I can’t wait to see my older daughters love this new baby. I can’t wait to reveal her precious name to our friends and family. I can’t wait for life as a family of 5 to begin.
Other days, I am nervous and fearful and quite frankly, don’t feel like I’m up to it for a 3rd time. I find myself with a huge list of to-dos, some that seem like they will never get done. Other times, I am bored, with a wandering mind, when fear and doubt about all the things tend to creep in – fear about my abilities to give birth, fear about my abilities to be a mom of 3, fear about being enough for all of my children, fear about losing myself as I try to be there for everyone else…
One thing I do know is that when labor kicks in, I’ll be ready. I’ll somehow muster up the strength and the courage to birth another baby and with only time standing between me and meeting my baby girl, I’ll be able to do it all over again. And just like the birth of my second daughter, I’ll be given another dose of love. It’ll come overflowing and it will be enough for all 3 of my children. I’ll see the look on my husband’s face as our new baby enters the world and I’ll be reminded that this is a brilliant gift. I’ll watch my older daughters meet their sister for the first time, and I’ll probably cry hot, happy tears as I see how excited they are.
As I continue this pregnancy, I need to remind myself of the goodness that lies ahead. In a matter of days, all of the fear and doubt will be overcome and we will meet this new little one who we have waited for oh so long.