Last month we were at a family reunion and my sister asked me if anything had surprised me about becoming a mom. I kind of sat stumped because I was really focused on surprises that Beck brought and I couldn’t think of anything I wasn’t expecting. I watched my niece during summer breaks in high school, I have babysat since I was 12, I have a huge family and most of my friends had babies before I ventured into motherhood. Plus my friends were really good at preparing me for the lesser known experiences. Not that it’s been easy, it’s just not been surprising. Then the other day I realized it wasn’t the baby that surprised me, it was myself and my relationship with my husband.
I had read that after you have a baby your affections, time and energy are so focused on that little one that often your other relationships suffer because of it. I didn’t think too much about it at the time because it’s hard to really absorb advice from a very specific life experience without going through the experience yourself. I kind of thought, “That won’t happen to me.” But sure enough, about a month into motherhood I realized that I was neglecting my relationship with my husband. It wasn’t on purpose of course. I can come up with a hundred excuses of why it happened (#1 hormones, #2 sleep deprivation … ) but the most important thing was to recognize and fix. I’m not going to lie, I still don’t get it right every day (balance, what balance?!) but the more I work on it the better it gets.
Did you find it was hard to focus on other relationships after your baby was born?