Just a few days into the New Year, Judah pulled me aside to have a little chat after breakfast. “Mom, I’ve got a few resolutions for the New Year,” he said, nibbling on a teething biscuit.
“Oh really?” I replied, dabbing at his cheek with a wipe.
“Yup,” he mumbled. “Here they are.” And then he handed me this list.
New Year, New Baby!
Dear Mom and Dad,
Here are my New Year’s resolutions. Enjoy.
Love & kisses,
Hit the Gym
Mom, if I’m going to really start crawling, I’m going to have to start hitting the gym. I need to work on my squats and power lifting!
Organize My Cheerios
My Cheerios are always such a mess. No time like the present to start organizing my things! (And if I get tired of sorting, I can always just eat them instead.)
Remove Everything From Mom’s Face
Mom. There are too many things on your face. Let me help you with that.
Catch Those Wandering Furry Things
They never hold still and I just want to hug them! They’re so soft like my stuffed bear toy but these are way cooler. They have a mind of their own! I need to catch them. Need to.
Pull Off Every Sock and Shoe
While they are incredibly stylish – and I gotta give you and dad major fashion points – they cover up my toes! How else will I be able to get my toes into my mouth if you constantly cover them in shoes and socks?
Teach Mom and Dad How to Talk
I promise you, my vocabulary is more than just phonemes like “baba” and “mama” and “dada” – I just choose to be very selective about what I say and when I say it. But this gibberish that you and Dad say all the time to me… I guess I need to work on your vocabulary first!
Take Some Time to Relax
Being a baby is exhausting. I should really take some more time for myself, don’t you think?