How to Eat Cake: A Tutorial by Elvie

This past weekend, Zinashi, Elvie, and I traveled to my hometown in Missouri to celebrate my Grannie’s 90th birthday. There was a lot of family time, and then on Sunday, which was her birthday, there was a luncheon and reception, which of course included cake. Elvie is just now coming into her own when it comes to eating solid foods. She still greets each new food with trepidation, but there is one thing she knows she likes: chocolate. One of the cakes at Grannie’s party was chocolate…with chocolate frosting…and chocolate filling. I knew it would be a hit, and I was right. While everyone else merely enjoyed their cake, Elvie reveled in the joy of eating hers with wild abandon. No one enjoyed their cake as much as Elvie enjoyed hers, and thus she is offering this tutorial. Do you like to eat cake? Would you like to LOVE eating cake? Let Elvie show you how.

  • You thought you knew how to eat cake...

    You thought you knew how to eat cake…

    …but Elvie can show you some new tricks.

  • Test it with your fingers first.

    Test it with your fingers first.

    It looks like chocolate cake, but is it chocolate cake? You won’t know unless you try it.

  • If someone offers a fork, take it!

    If someone offers a fork, take it!

    You might be more efficient with your fingers, but forks are more fun. Concentrate a little, and you’ll be fine.

  • Just shovel it in.

    Just shovel it in.

    Once you get that fork going, don’t stop. Stay focused. Need help keeping cake on the fork long enough to get it to your mouth? Use your hands!

  • Handy tip: the opposite end of your fork can be used as a knife.

    Handy tip: the opposite end of your fork can be used as a knife.

    Maybe whoever served you the cake didn’t cut the bites small enough. No need to trouble them! You can fix it yourself!

  • Never let anyone doubt your enthusiasm.

    Never let anyone doubt your enthusiasm.

    Tip your head back! Make food enjoyment noises! The person who ordered the cake will feel great about their choice with you around to smack your lips in approval.

  • Sometimes the cake is so good, your eyes will cross a little.

    Sometimes the cake is so good, your eyes will cross a little.

    Don’t worry! They’ll go back to normal!

  • Evaluate your plate.

    Evaluate your plate.

    Have you eaten enough?

  • Getting one last bite in is always wise.

    Getting one last bite in is always wise.

    You never know how long it will be between occasions that feature cake. It’s best to shove one last bite in, even if you’ve lost interest in the fork. Your hands are an excellent vehicle for getting cake into your mouth!

  • Have someone help you check to make sure your face is clean.

    Have someone help you check to make sure your face is clean.

    It’s hard to tell if you’ve gotten a bit of cake on your face in your enthusiasm for enjoying it fully. Ask a friend or family member for help. Let them direct you. A little to the left? To the right? Is it gone?

  • Now smile!

    Now smile!

    You just ate cake, and cake is awesome!

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