This morning I was busy. There were beds to be made and a kitchen to clean after getting the big kids off to school. I had to put Hayden’s cloth diapers to wash, and I still had yet to drink, my now cold, cup of coffee. Every time I sat Hayden down he protested, and no amount of toys or singing or even sitting near me while I tried to work, stopped him from fussing. So I literally dropped everything and we ventured outside. Usually when he’s like this only a walk in the stroller will soothe him, but since I was still in my pj’s and my teeth weren’t even brushed, we retreated to the solitude of our own backyard.
We sat next to the pool and while he watched the pool vacuum slowly stir the water about, I had a few minutes to drink my coffee. While sitting there, it occurred to me that Hayden and I only had a few mornings of quiet alone time together before summer break hit and the big kids would be home with us for 3 months straight. This realization made me glad I had stopped to just sit and soak in our quiet time together.
When I first became a mother, it was very hard for me to just sit and enjoy my easy going daughter. I enrolled her in baby gym classes at 4 months old, and what mornings we did have that were activity free, I spent taking her on walks or running errands. It was so hard for me to sit still and just relax at home, having been used to a busy career which had me out in the field meeting with different people every single day. I didn’t appreciate those quiet mornings at home with her as much as I should have, or could have.
When my son was born 24 months later, there were no more quiet mornings, with 2 under (or right around) 2. Life was busy and loud and crazy and even though it was exhausting, I thrived off of it.
Now 8 years later, I still love to be busy and be out and about, but I have come to crave peace and quiet in the mornings before we tackle the day. Hayden, being such an easy going baby, allows for much of that. Even if I can’t get a lot of housework done, he’s always happy and content if I’m holding him.
The big kids get out of school next Wednesday and by the time they return to school in the Fall, Hayden will have turned 1 years old. Technically still a baby I suppose, but on the fast track to toddler hood. While I of course love all 3 of my kids, I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t miss my quiet mornings with just Hayden and I alone together. He’s my last baby, and I’ve finally learned to relax and relish in the simple beauty of just holding a baby, without distractions of laundry and busyness. Without other kids needing a snack or to break up a fight. Without having to worry that your middle son may get jealous you’re paying all your attention to the baby.
When Summer comes next week I’ll embrace it and tackle it head on. We’ll have fun and it will be loud and bright and busy, but I’ll make sure to make the most of these last few days Hayden and I have together, just the two of us.