Last week, a friend of mine quietly admitted to me that she never has felt baby hungry. She has a darling little girl that she is a remarkably good mom to, and she knows she wants more children, but she said she has never once felt any kind of baby fever. She and her husband had decided to try for their first child because they knew they wanted children, they were in a stable time of life, and they were at reasonable ages. But there wasn’t that LONGING that so many women seem to have.
When I told her that I’ve never felt “baby hungry” either, you’d have thought I’d written her a check for a million dollars. She seemed so delighted to know she wasn’t the only one, and we spent a long time discussing how you decide when to try for a baby when you aren’t possessed by an overwhelming internal urge to HAVE A BABY RIGHT NOW!
And I often do feel like I’m the only person who doesn’t hold a newborn baby and just want one of my own with my whole heart.
I love my daughter, I’m looking forward to a new baby in our family, come November, and I think I’m a good mother. But I do not and never have felt that baby hunger.
In fact, the most I EVER remember feeling was at a back-to-school night when I was a librarian. One of the second graders showed up with his parents and they brought their six month old baby with them. I looked at that cute little boy and thought, “You know, that maybe could be fun someday.” And that was the total extent of it, in my entire life.
When we told another couple that we were expecting our second child, they said, “We’ve been waiting for this announcement. We kept telling each other, ‘Janssen definitely has baby fever.'”
Bart and I laughed a little, but that night at home we both talked about how funny that comment was to us because we both know that I don’t. I must just really do a good job pretending to want to snuggle other people’s babies.