24 Hours in the Life of Abby & Her Hero (Toddler Brother)
I’ll make no secrets about how much I love my babies. I’m also not gonna front. There are days when I am run ragged. Sure, I wouldn’t have it any other way…but ragged is ragged.
I’ve gotten into letting my babies tell their stories, because sometimes, for the LIFE OF ME, I can’t figure out why they do what they do (or don’t do). After all, they’re the experts on being a baby – right?
Click through to enjoy a little gentle satire straight from Abby, to me, to you!
On any typical day...
These things are guaranteed to happen. Whether my mama (or daddy) likes it or not. (Mostly though, I’m pretty sure she loves it all…but sometimes, well sometimes my brother is out of hand! Never me though. Never.)
1:30 am, 3:00 am & maybe 5:30 am. Definitely by 6:30 am...
I am either wide awake and ready to party, because OBVIOUSLY. Only the best fun happens after midnight. That or I’m cutting a new tooth, and since all you adults can’t remember what that feels like I’m going to spell it out for ya. Teething sucks big hairy monster brains. Do not like. Word on the street is that all my continued waking and partying and/or wailing is maybe why maybe my mom drinks more coffee than a barista.
Apparently mom needs even MOAR COFFEE!! Something to do with the fact that my bro crawls into bed with her and my dad sometime after 4 am and proceeds to drop kick them in their respectable groin/head/boobs/any and all body parts. Whiners. Finally we get to the business of finding pretty things for me to wear. WAIT! You mean I can’t bring Poo Bear with me to daycare? Gah. Why must my life SUCK SO BAD?!?! I can’t wear my slippers and just a tutu in the rain outside? I’m not going ANYWHERE. Oh, I can bring my baby with me instead? Sunshine. Rainbows. Pixie dust. Let’s hurry!
It’s time for breakfast and all I want is a granola bar and maybe some yogurt. Preferably the frozen kind (You DO remember I’m constantly teething, right?) Why must my mama try and make me eat fruit?! I HATE bananas. Who cares if I liked them yesterday? Today they are GROSS. What do you mean I can’t finger paint right now? Phht…I’ll show you. Imma going to pull it out anyways, even if it means climbing the hutch to get to that art basket. Anyways. I’m definitely not eating that oatmeal. Spit, toss, fling, whip, BLECH. Oh YUM! Maple syrup and cinnamon! Squeeee! Nom, nom, nom.
8:45 am - 10:00 am
Either my brother and I are going to daycare or we’re hanigin’ out with my mom or dad. They both work from home, so this is SUPER EASY. Sometimes we have to go on errands like grocery shopping and I swear, every single time we get put into the grocery cart I want to scream. So I do. I get over it pretty fast though, because I love to be next to my brother, even though he squishes, pokes and licks me. BOYS. When we get home, one of the parental units tries to put me down for a nap. What the HECK?! I’m like, nearly TWO. If only they would listen.
11am - 2 pm
Whether I’m at home or at daycare, this dude is always close by. Can’t shake him. Which is fine, for the most part. I mean, look at him. He’s SO COOL. But sometimes? Sometimes I just wanna go down the slide by myself. Scratch that. I miss the slide period. What THE HECK IS THIS FALL? EARLY WINTER BUSINESS?!?! Snowsuit? Not a chance. I can/haz mad wrestling techniques. Stay puff marshmallow I am not. You adults aren’t the only ones who have an image to uphold. Oh yea, somewhere in there I probably had lunch. All 4 bites of it, which is better I think than my brother’s 2.
Here I am freshly napped, which – surprise surprise, I didn’t put up much of a fuss over. What I don’t like however, is not being taken outside to play after my nap, or why I can’t run into traffic as I please. Just what is the PROBLEMO? Cars are the BOMB. My brother will attest to as much and he knows EVERYTHING. If it’s a daycare day, at this point I’m wondering just where in THE BABY BELUGA my parents are. And snacks. I am SO HUNGRY right about now, which is surprising given the great amount of lunch I ate. Why can’t I eat 5 cookies or 2 cereal bars and call it day? I could totally skip dinner then. Easy peasy.
Either someone has finally shown up to pick us up from daycare, or I’m at home totally helping my mama prep up (gross probably) dinner. STILL SO HUNGRY. I make this known. Mama mumbles something about it likely ruining my dinner but she gives me a couple of apple slices anyways. I don’t like to eat them in the highchair. I only enjoy food when I can run around and choke on it. In my chair I’ll either throw them or feed them to my baby. WAIT. Where’s my baby? OMG mama, you must find my baby PRONTO. Head – floor, fist-smash, legs-kick, voice-HOWL. Ah, there you are baby! Phew! Thanks mama, you’re the BEST!
Around this time, mama and daddy are usually trying to feed us some disgusting dinner. Sometimes I like it, but lately…UGH. The menu’s been something straight out of a horror movie. Unless it’s cheese and cherry tomatoes – my brother and I are SO NOT DOWN. I’d pretty much rather be doing any of the things you see over there. Much tom foolery ensues. The place is a MESS afterwards, and it always takes forever for my mom and dad to clean it up – so they wait until we don’t really go to bed so that we can hang out together as a family. This is the HIGHLIGHT of my night, even though my brother tackles constantly.
6:30 pm (ish)
Sometimes we sing songs and bust out the percussion instruments, sometimes I get to be all naked (LOVE BEING NAKED) and smear paint all over the place. Or we watch some Electric Company. It’s SO RETRO. Love that show. My brother knows the entire song and puts on the best performance ever. He’s such a rockstar. I LURVE HIM ZOMG HE IS AMAZING. Even when he’s bossin’ me. SO entertaining he is. Only he can tell me what to do.
Bath-time! Which takes some getting used to. For the obvious reasons. I mean, I’m a sensitive lass who can’t just be ripped out of lego building, or wagon-riding, or exploring grass blades or…well, ANY OF IT. I need time. Play-time is really just so rare, that I can’t bear to part with it at first. Eventually I come around though, because HELLO. I get to be NAKED. BUBBLES. BLISS & JOY.
Story-time. BEST THING EVER. Me and my bro usually get 3 stories each, (somehow my parents think this is enough. I know, right?) since we’re at different stages and all. Some of his books are borrrrring. I’d rather be doing backflips and launching myself off of the bead, which I do – until someone reads me a book that I actually like. It’s aways a major cuddle fest which I love. CUDDLING ROCKS SO HARD. (Also, my daddy is better than your daddy so THERE).
8:30 pm (ish)
They say it’s bedtime, my brother and I aren’t having any of it. I’d rather be climbing things and playing with my friends. I hate it when the days have to end. It’s SO TRAGIC. SO HARD. SO SAD. SO MANY TEARS. All I want is a bubba of warm milk to make it all better, but my super mean parents think that it’s time for me to wean off of that. What is this weaning anyways?!?! Sounds pointless and cruel if you ask me. At least I have have my trusty soosie. NOW WAY NO HOW are they ever taking that away from me. I haz needs.
PEOPLE. I AM SO NOT TIRED. ZOMG WHY ARE MY PARENTS TORTURING ME SO?!?! Oh. wow look at all those pretty stars on the ceiling. Prettttyyyy. Shinnnnyyyy. I love my glowy turtle lamp thing. Wait a second where’s my BABY? OHNO WHERE’S IT?!?! MAMA? DAAAAAAAAAA?!!! Oh, phew, there you are baby. Humph. I AM NOT TIRED YOU GUYZzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Zzzzzzzzzz. I dream of adventuring. Playing. Running. Wheeeee!
My brother has joined the ranks of the bedtime woes and decides it’s a good idea to toss some trains or cars into my bed and sing a song about how it’s time for me to wake up. First, I’m SUPER MAD about it. Until mama or daddy come in and have some words with my bro. Not so sure I like that. Actually, I think my brother was right and I DO want to play. It’s SO ON. Why can’t we be playing with beads, or at the park or better yet…I want to RIDE A TRAIN. NOWZZzzzzzzzz. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
1:30 am, 3:00 am & maybe 5:30 am. Definitely by 6:30 am...
You remember how this all started. Things don’t change all that much around here. I’m a pretty predicable gal that way. For now anyways. I’l probably switch things up in a couple months or so. Gotta keep ‘em on their toes an all of that.