A Birth Story Reflection, on your First Birthday
As of 2:30 AM this morning, you’re officially a one year old. Even though it was 365 days ago, the whole night of your birth and delivery I can recall as if it happened just yesterday.
The contractions and waiting. The moment I heard your voice for the first time. The feeling of touching your soft skin that took my breath away. The look on your dads face the moment he laid eyes on you.
Your birth story will stay with me forever, and go down as one of the most important events of my life.
Last night when I laid my head on the pillow to sleep, I found myself deep in reflection. Thinking about this very night one year ago, and what stage of labor I was probably in at that very moment. Paul, there’s so many emotions attached to your birth. It was hard, it was painful, and it had the best ending ever.
Have I ever told you the story?
After a long day (which I’ll tell you about some other time), we arrived at the hospital around 9 PM. During the earlier contractions, the most comfortable way to labor through them was to lean on the wall and rock my hip back and forth.
The race is on
Since you were my 4th, and I’ve had some fairly speedy deliveries in the past, I expected things to progress rather quickly. I remember looking at the clock around 10 PM, and reassuring myself that I would surely give birth to you before midnight. In the end, that would turn out to just be wishful thinking.
With a little help...
Paul, I decided right from the beginning of my pregnancy with you that I would do my best to give birth to you without the assistance of pain medication. I firmly believe that I only reason I actually met my goal was because I had the best support team in the world.
The last of the "belly shots"
Throughout my pregnancy with you, I took many photos of my growing belly. This one right here would be our last.
A calm in the eye of the storm
The moments between my very intense contractions were so perfect and without pain, for a second I would honestly question if I was actually in labor. I could crack jokes, carry a conversation, and walk around the room with east. But as soon as a another contraction was on deck, it was back to the business of being born.
So where was your dad?
So where was dad this whole time? Paul, your dad was nervous, and seeing me in a lot of pain was hard for him to watch. Your dad spent most of my labor and delivery doing exactly what I asked of him, oftentimes sitting back deep in thought. I know he was praying for you and I.
The ever scrolling proof of when “a big one” was happening. Throughout the course of the night, we would see the ink on the paper, letting us know that things were progressing just as they should. And you were positively on your way.
As the intensity and pain of the contractions reached unthinkably new heights, I found relief by leaning against the back of the hospital bed. I would picture myself holding you in my arms, and that image carried me through some of the most intense moments.
It was finally time for you to be born. At this moment, I felt so many emotions rush through me. From “It’s too scary and painful, can’t do this” to “I’m so excited and overjoyed, let’s do this!”
And in two pushes, you arrived into the world. Mama, it’s time to meet your son!
Paul, your daddy is a very strong man, rarely showing outwardly emotion. But when you were born? So many happy tears!
Wrapped around his finger
This photo basically sums up our last year with you, baby Paul. You stole our hearts from start, and I can’t imagine life without you.
Ten fingers, ten toes
Paul, from day one you were perfect in every way.
Baby Paul, we waited for your arrival for what felt like a lifetime. Waiting for this exact moment…
All photos by: Casey Mullins