5 Hilarious Non-Teething Items My Toddler Has Used for Teething Relief

Elvie has never had an easy time of it when it comes to teething. Her first two teeth took forever to come in, and she left a trail of drool in her wake for the longest time before they finally popped up, one right after the other. Then came her first molar – such an insult – followed by two more molars, which came in at the same time as three other teeth. That’s right, she cut five teeth at once! I always feel bad for her and do whatever I can to help her feel better when she’s teething. We give her pain medicine if she needs it, give her extra snuggles for comfort, and I have purchased all sorts of teething toys. The medicine has been effective, and the snuggling is a hit, but the toys? Every single one has been rejected. Elvie prefers to be more creative when it comes to meeting her teething pain relief needs. Here are five hilarious things that Elvie has used to help soothe her poor little gums when she’s teething.

  • When her new teeth are making her mouth hurt, she just wants relief.

    When her new teeth are making her mouth hurt, she just wants relief.

    And she will get it wherever she can find it!

  • Cardboard, any cardboard at all

    Cardboard, any cardboard at all

    Those cardboard coffee sleeves are her favorite, followed by board books as a close second. But really, any cardboard will do. Last week I let her hold a box of crackers on the way to check out at the store, and by the time we reached the counter, it had a hole in it.

  • The stroller bumper bar

    The stroller bumper bar

    It’s so conveniently located, and it’s the perfect combination of firm and pliable. I know her teeth are really bothering her if she spends most of our walk with her mouth clamped down on the bumper bar.

  • Our kitchen table

    Our kitchen table

    If she could reach it, I think she would teethe on it for most of the day. As it is, she can just get a few chomps in before and after meals, while she is in her high chair.

  • Her big sister's fairy wand

    Her big sister's fairy wand

    Nothing reaches molars quite like the star at the top of a wand. Lucky for her, the only one who’s noticed has been me, and I wipe the drool off before big sis gets suspicious.

  • ME!!!


    Teething hasn’t been painful just for Elvie. She regularly sidles up and chomps on my leg, or leans over to get some relief from my arm. She’s even grabbed my hands, hoping to use my fingers for relief. Sorry, Elvie, but I’d prefer to just snuggle you to soothe you. You’re going to have to chew on something else. Can I offer you a board book or a fairy wand?

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