I was pounding through the snow, foot to slush, heartbeat erratic, breath harsh and fast. Running from the thought of aging without healthful grace. Running from the thought of continuing to take my body, my vessel, for granted. Running from the thought of teaching my children, without even knowing it – that taking care of oneself is a chore.
It was during this winter run, when I brave the harsh elements, that my mind is awakened and un-distracted by the motherly duties of house and home. Where my work and my computer lay unreachable, within the warm confines of my home. It was on this particular day that my mind raced with how harshly I can judge myself at times, as a mother and as a person. My thoughts began to open up and curve around the truth.
The truth of my mothering and how good I am at it. That my children are probably the biggest part of how I’ve gotten here, to a higher quality of life. They are my daily teachers, my daily inspiration who have, without a doubt in my mind – made me a better human being for having been graced with them…
Lessons from my children…
on grace, kindness, resilience and respect…
It’s a challenge that I struggle a little heavier with somedays, but some of the sweetest moments that I have with my children are caught in the fresh, bright, groggy wee hours of the morning.
I’ve always been into food; various cuisines, experimenting, being creative and learning all that I can. Since having babies, I’ve really gotten into making food fun – yet still healthy – and fully embracing the themes that revolve around different holidays.
Love is kind, love is patient. A verse that I subscribe to daily, especially during those times when the creator calls for me to have it the most. Like you know, when potty-training.
I’ve always been creative, dabbling in many different mediums and genres – specializing in traditional Native art and crafts, as well as plush toy and quilt making. Throughout the years I’ve been inspired by my children in photography and have recently signed up for a Photoshop and digital photography night course.
Health & Fitness
Again, for the most part I’ve tried to maintain a healthy lifestyle. As many would attest to, it isn’t always easy and being a lover of food has definitely been my foe at times. I am incredibly passionate about leading by example for my children in this way, however, including in being involved in sports and fitness. This spring we are planting a small veggie garden that I can’t WAIT to delve into doing with them.
They are my light, everyday and bring me joy – even during the times that I want to tear my hair out over their ‘toddler-ness’ deep (I’m talkin’ DEEP here, during these times), down there is always the purest form of joy in the fact that I have been graced with them and that I get to be their parent.
As a survivor of childhood abuse, I led myself down a path in my youth and early adulthood that was destructive, fraught with self-medicating and self-loathing. It is vastly important for me as a parent to always remember where I come from, to hold no shame and recognize/acknowledge my triggers as they commence. My children deserve the very best parts of me and my restorative journey is to be life-long.
Most ideals of perfectionism went out the window quickly after the birth of my first child. I gained a new perspective and appreciation for the simpler things in life and have slowly been learning the fine art of embracing chaos in the everyday.
Being a mother has brought me one step closer to redefining my character, building upon my strengths and humbly accepting my weaknesses. Nothing has challenged me more than being a mother and I’m only 3 years in!
These two little people have taught me what true, unconditional love and resilience is really about.